NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

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NOT "Just Friends" addresses all these problems and helps you figure out when it is appropriate to stop being so upset and move on. In addition, she has learned about the trauma of infidelity from the couples she has treated in her private practice in the Baltimore area. Consider this surprising statistic: At least one or both parties in 50 percent of all couples, married and living together, straight and gay, will break their vows of sexual or emotional exclusivity during the lifetime of the relationship. Commonly, betrayed spouses become obsessed with the details of the affair, have trouble eating and sleeping, and feel powerless to control their emotions, especially anxiety and grief, which can be overwhelming.

If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Leighton who is Tibbs’ best friend for years and also one of the hot firemen has had it bad for Presley. One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of marital infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent cheating and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. In fact, much of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships is misguided. In addition, I found some very interesting differences between the sexes that piqued my curiosity: In long-term marriages, unfaithful men were as satisfied as faithful men, but unfaithful women were the most distressed subgroup of all.i think you're a braver person than me to throw yourself back into your marriage after a 14month affair - i don't honestly think i could. Although Glass and Staeheli do the job of describing the comprehensive process of working through affair-related issues, it may be hard for couples who are in that much distress to implement the book’s strategies on their own. Jared is a hot firefighter but I liked his protective side, in addition to him understanding Presley and giving her what she needs rather than go totally alpha. More times than I can count, I have sat in my office and felt torn apart by the grief, rage, and remorse of the people I counsel as they try to cope with the repercussions of their infidelity or their partner's betrayal. Because betrayal is so traumatic and recovery takes time, I use an interpersonal trauma recovery plan that parallels the ones recommended for victims of natural disasters, war, accidents, and violence.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has been involved in an affair personally or tangentially as well as for any couple interested in protecting and identifying risks to their relationship. More than 90 percent of married individuals believe that monogamy is important, but almost half of them admit to having had affairs.also very helpful when i have a wobble and think to myself 'how can i stay with you after you've done this? Shirley Glass says that the increase in modern affairs happens because of the increased opportunities for men and women to mingle. Shirley Glass book brilliant at helping to understand why even in a strong relationship things can go astray.